2011 Candy Championship

The NCAA Tournament is upon us again, and that is fantastic.  I'm sure all of you are crunching numbers trying to figure out which teams to pick.  Well, this is a little variation of the NCAA Tourney, but an American classic, nonetheless.  I'm sure you've seen the Reese's commercial with the bracket by now.  If not, here is the link.

Reese's Commercial

Yep, that's what this post is based off of.  16 treats/candies are put to the test, to see which one truly is the best.  These candies have been seeded (1-16) by the Candy Selection Committee (CSC), consisting of:  

Committee Members:      Mr. Peanut
                                      Pillsbury Dough Boy 
                                      The M&M's
                                      The Gingerbread Man 
Committee Chair:           Aunt Jemima


Another difference from the NCAA Tournament is the analysts who cover the tourney.  Typically you see Jay Bilas, Dick Vitale and Bob Knight predicting the brackets.  You now have Prince Fielder, Charles Barkley and Jonah Hill.  Along with the analysts comes the "genius" that prematurely predicts the brackets prior to the tournament.  John Kruk replaces Joe Lunardi as Head Bracketologist.

Basketball Bracketologist: Joe Lunardi

Candy Bracketologist: John Kruk

The Committee Has Spoken

1. Chocolate
Bid: Automatic - Cocoa Conference
Outlook:  Chocolate is the clear favorite entering this tournament.  With an undefeated regular season, this very athletic squad looks to continue their reign over the candy industry.  But beware of chocolate's tendency to melt under pressure.


2. Peanut Butter
Bid: Automatic - Nut Family Conference 
Outlook: PB brings an experienced unit that isn't afraid to attack the throats of opponents.  Peanut Butter dominated the Nut Conference this season behind the leadership of Coach, George Washington Carver.


3. Caramel
Bid: Automatic -Chewy Conference 
Outlook: Caramel came on late in the season; with big bubble-wins over Gummy Bears and their rivals, Caramel Apples.  Caramel is a flexible treat that puts their opponents in sticky situations.


4. Cookies
Bid: Automatic - Homebaked Conferece 
Outlook: Cookies comes into this tournament fresh out the oven, they held on to beat Brownies in the Homebaked Conference Tournament Final in a close one.  Cookies has a very diverse team with transfers from Chocolate, Peanut Butter, Raisins and Oatmeal.


5. Pretzel
Bid: At-Large 
Outlook: Pretzel is definitely the surprise team of this year's field, I actually had to Take 5 and check to make sure their bid was accurate.  This team reached their peak around the Holiday Tournament where they merged with Almond Bark to create a festive treat to be reckoned with.


6. Mint
Bid: Automatic - Natural Treats Conference 
Outlook: Mint has been overlooked all season, but has continued to win big games.  Mint boasts a great resume.  Senior leader, York, has been waiting for this opportunity his whole career.  Some experts are concerned about the their 20 hour flight from the Andes.



7. Raisins
Bid: Automatic - Fruit Conference 
Outlook: The best team from the West Coast this season capped a good campaign by winning the Fruit Conference (Season & Conference Tournament) Championship.  I have a gut feeling they may dry out and prune at this late phase in the season.



8. Wafer
Bid: At-Large 
Outlook: This is Wafer's first tournament appearance.  A versatile group lead by the twin brothers, Kit and Kat, could catch a break this year and win some games.  Head Coach, Nilla, runs a crisp program.


9. Coconut
Bid: At-Large 
Outlook: Not a whole lot of upside with this healthy treat.  They will have a long flight from Hawaii to take on Wafer in the Opening Round.  Their star player, AJ (Almond Joy) has been dismissed from the team after possessing 2 Pina Coladas during a recent bar raid.


10. Nougat
Bid: At-Large 
Outlook: A lot of people have Nougat making a deep run in this tournament.  It'll be very hard for opponents to halt their Fast Break.  Nougat boasts some quality road wins late in the season (Graham Cracker &  Sprinkles), but they also have an ugly loss against Pez.



11. Marshmallow
Bid: At-Large 
Outlook: A veteran Marshmallow team limps into this year's tournament.  Head Coach Snap is in the hospital with complications from Type II Diabetes, so Assistants Crackle and Pop will share the duties this March. Many experts feel that the Mallows are just too soft and fluffy to compete with tougher teams.

12. Vanilla
Bid: Automatic - Extract Conference 
Outlook: Vanilla will need a miracle to make a run in this tourney.  With an entirely white roster, they will face many tough upcoming challenges.  Their systematic motion offense may give their opponent fits, but in the long run, they're just too bland.


13. Cherry
Bid: At-Large 
Outlook: Cherry has had a lot of off-field issues this season.  Incidents with the law, as well as recruiting violations put a chocolate covered cloud on this year's tournament as well as future seasons.  Sources say that their lengthy Center, Twizzlers was illegally contacted during it's stay on the shelves of Walgreens.



14. Pecan
Bid: At- Large 
Outlook: Pecan was highly touted coming into the 2010-2011, but dropped off late in the year.  Their star, Turtle, could lead them to an unheralded Cinderella story though. Their fan base does tend to travel well, and is synonymous with going nutty.



15. Toffee 
Bid: Automatic - Grandparent's Candy Conference 
Outlook: Toffee comes from a mid-major (GCC), and faces an uphill challenge in this year's tourney.  5th year Senior, Heath, would like nothing more than to avenge his terrible display he put on in last year's tournament and give his team a victory in 2011.



Play-In Game
16. Walnut
Bid: At-Large 
Outlook: Walnut has been tagged as a poor man's Pecan, don't be expecting anything spectacular out of this nut.

16A. Butterscotch
Bid: At-Large 
Outlook: Butterscotch was outraged with it's draw in the tournament.  An early exit in the Grandparent's Candy Conference Tournament drastically hurt their chances of making a run in the tourney.

2011 Candy Championship

Here is the unfilled bracket.  Please make your picks and comment on the bottom of this post. 

Or at least fill out...
Champion:
Runner-Up:
Cinderella:
Bust:

Pick Me! I'm rather healthy.

Can the Marshmallows rally together without Snap?

* In case you were wondering about whether or not there is a Girls Candy Bracket, well such thing does exist.  But, their tournament is a One-Game Playoff between Granola & Croutons.

Beat The Heat

There isn't a better way to fall asleep than knowing you just defeated LeBron James, Dwayne Wade, Chris Bosh and the rest of that team in Miami, unfortunately I have been unsuccessful in doing so. For the last few nights I have been sitting in my chair in the wee hours of the night attempting to beat the Miami Heat in NBA Live 2004 (PS2) on Superstar Level.

You are probably confused why I am playing NBA Live 2004, well, it is arguably the greatest EA Sports production of all time. Also, you are more than likely confused because I said I was attempting to beat James, Wade and Bosh, but those guys weren't on the team in 2004. Well, I manually updated the rosters of every NBA team over the past six years and just recently put the final touches on the updated line-ups and ratings.


Here is how the game is set up.

Miami Heat vs. Los Angeles Lakers
- I alternate where the game in played.
- 8 Minute Quarters
- Fatigue: On
- Camera: Baseline Low (Zoomed Out a bit)

Previous Results:
Attempt #  -  Result
1. L, 87-59
2. L, Quit (Dinner)
3. L, Quit (Frustration)
4. L, 54-31 (Game Froze @ Halftime)
5. L, 97-86
6. L, 98-82
7.L, 119-111



Kia Motors: Keys To The Game

1. Slow down the pace, for some reason I overcompensated the speed of the Heat when I updated their ratings. If I try to get out and run, it will be halted, so I have to remember to run my offense.

2. Get BIG! With a front line of Illgauskas and Bosh, I should be able to power the ball down low and take advantage of their Cabbage Patch mentality, but this is a video game and somehow they are both 90 in blocking and even though they get blown by in the post, they never fail to swat the ball from behind. So the pump fake is crucial!


3. Badger Eddie House! The best part about turning fatigue on is Dwayne Wade gets winded, and that means he will need a few minutes to quench his thirst, but more importantly it means Eddie House will get 4-6 minutes a game. Eddie's handles are suspect, and I routinely call a "Double Team" to trap the shit out of him. The traps work about 33% of the time.

4. Understand that Horace Grant takes names. Even though I updated all the rosters, the most important roster move was activating Horace Grant from the Lakers IR and proverbial NBA death. Despite a half-dozen knee injuries and goggles Michael Phelps would envy, Horace is still a force on the defensive end. I like to "User" Horace and give Bosh a really hard time. Even if Bosh makes a contested hook shot, rest assured that Horace gave him a nice jab in the side.

 

5. Lean on Kobe and Fisher to take big shots.

6. Remember that LeBron is uncharacteristically clutch.

Here's an example:

"With 20 seconds on the clock in a tie game, the real life LeBron James would force a long jumper only to see it clank on the back board, front rim if he's in the zone.  Now when you take the same situation and implant it into NBA Live 2004, LeBron drives the lane, welcomes contact then proceeds to finish above the rim and covert the And-One play." 

Needless to say, you can't defend it.

7.  Don't text during the game.  I need to 100% focus to compete with the Heat, and if I am receiving and returning multiple text messages, my mind won't be on exploiting Miami's occasional 2-3 zone. 

 

Meet The Lakers

 Meet The Heat