Month Power Rankings

Despite the recent surge of mild temperatures in Central Illinois, the month of February sucks. How much does it really suck though? How does the overlying cloud that is February compare to the eleven other months? Let's take a look.

Month Power Rankings

1. June
I think we all can agree that June weather is the best of all the months. Everyday is going to be 60-80 degrees, who can complain about that? Every school is out by the start of June and summer is in full swing. The month is consumed with graduation parties which gives everyone their well-deserved fill of pulled pork sandwiches and cake. I don't have the exact statistics on when families go on vacation, but if Steve Harvey from Family Feud asked me "What month is the best for vacationing?" during 'Fast Money', I am certain June would be the first month to come to mind. Assuming I don't completely freeze up and reply with "Disney World". Also, the NBA Finals and Father's Day always fall in June.

2. May
This is the first month where you can wake up in the morning and not second-guess whether or not you should wear shorts. You wear your shorts with confidence knowing that not only is the weather ideal for shorts, but that the opposite sex is wearing shorts as well, where have those legs been all winter? The weather is turning into summer weather, school is winding down, those flowers that were budding last month are now prized Zinnia's. The number of cotton tailed rabbit sightings probably double from April to May. May is host to Mother's Day and Memorial Day, both are underrated holidays.

3. September
September is an exciting time, students get reunited with all their college buddies and a whole new year of school starts fresh. Sure there are some incredibly hot, muggy days, but then there are unparalled strolls around town at night. The NFL season starts in mid-September as well as college football. Football leads to tailgating, and tailgating is at its finest in the month of September. This only adds to the 30 day euphoria that is September. September is also harvest time, and it has been reported that some scholars consider September "Hammer Time" as well.

4. July
Not only is July Uncle Sam's favorite month, Katy Perry likes it too. Highlighted by it's lone holiday, The 4th of July, July offers many outdoor activities. Cookouts, pool parties and picnics are all reasons why ants love July. Those are also the same reasons why I selected July to be placed in the #4 slot. By this point in the summer, odds are you skin is substantially sun-kissed, which leads me into my next question, is it sun-kissed enough to melt a popsicle? Probably not. I suppose if you were laying out for two hours and then placed a popsicle on your scalding hot back it could possibly melt. You gotta remember that it's not going to be an instant reaction. I would have to say that the popsicle would melt, but it would take around 2-4 minutes for the popsicle to actually change states.

5. August
Like always, August will follow July. August has it's moments, emphatically warm moments, but moments nonetheless. By this point in the summer, people are getting annoyed with the consistent 90 degree temperatures. August marks the end of summer for almost all schools, which is good and bad. Sure, it sucks that summer is ending, but who isn't excited to come back to another year of school? If you didn't go on that family vacation I was talking about back in June, you better go in August because it your last opportunity to have a family bonding experience before the Melissa goes to State, Craig takes that internship with Goodyear Tires, and Nathan embarks on his final year of high school. Boy, they sure do grow up fast.

6. December
Breaking away from all the months with tropical climates, the #6 spot goes to December. A lot of people around the midwest hate the frigid climate, but come on it's not that bad. Take out the fact that the average temperature is below freezing, December is about family. December, more than any other month, is adored because it's habitual way of bringing families together. Other than the Grinch and probably Kevin Garnett, there isn't anyone in this country who doesn't love Christmas. Excluding people with crappy jobs, Americans get a lot of time off in December to spend with their families, which is fantastic. Oh, and you can't forget the last day of the year, aka "New Year's Eve" lands in December. Besides the fact the holiday almost always leaves those who celebrate with great disappointment after their inflated expectations turned into just another night of drinking with friends and taking an album worth of pictures.

7. March
I am still bitter about not placing March higher, but my peer reviewers kept knocking it down. I believe I can make a pretty good case that March deserves elite month status. Let's see, it has much milder weather, March Madness, and the beginning of the MLB season. On most years, March is highlighted by three major holidays: St. Patrick's Day/Unofficial, Easter and my birthday (22nd). The NCAA Tournament is one of sport's most excited three weeks. Nothing beats filling out brackets and tuning into hours upon hours of quality hoops. March has been known to roar in like a lion, that can't hinder its case as a Top 3 month. For a huge baseball fan like myself, the start of a new season excites me more than logging into Facebook to see 8 Notifications that I didn't foresee coming. What else haven't I said about March? Did I say Easter? Yeah, Easter's cool.

8. April
It isn't going to be easy to defend a month whose motto is, "Out like a lamb". April has to possess the least amount of street cred of all the months. April reminds me of a student with a 2.9 GPA and a fair amount of friends. April goes out and stuff, but lacks in personality. Don't get me wrong, people enjoy April's company, but if April didn't show up to a party, I don't think May and June would notice. The grass turns green in April, the air couldn't be anymore mild, and the birds are finishing up the last few parts of their nests, I mean, they have the foundation and 3 bedrooms done, but they still have to gather a decent amount of twigs to put the finishing touches on the guest bedroom and the kitchen. There are plenty of opportunities to play outside in April especially that the days are longer now, so that's a plus.

9. October
By far the spookiest month of them all, October's childhood charm solidifies itself as #9 on the countdown. October is a pretty month, the foliage is at its peak as far as cosmetic appearance goes. The shades of leaves in the Midwest are just to die for! Football is in full swing by now, the World Series is going on in baseball and the weather is beginning to shift to a chillier alternative. Children love Halloween, shoot, I think we all love Halloween. Who doesn't love dressing up and running around town? I'll tell you who, probably not a Police Officer. I say this because that's literally what they do all day, put on their uniform and patrol streets all day, so odds are Halloween doesn't rank very high on their list. Same goes for Paramedics, Fire Fighters and Jimmy John's Delivery Boys.

10. January
The first month of the year, the 10th month on my list. January offers new beginnings for all, especially those overweight people who determine that this is the year they will lose weight. Yeah, those people. The new year brings hope to the guy who is experimenting on the elliptical with jeans and a collared shirt on, and I couldn't make that up. January offers pretty crummy weather, but it does have the NFL Playoffs and multiple College Football Bowls. If you like snow, this is the month for you. If you like quirky romantic comedies, "When Harry Met Sally" is the movie for you.

11. November
November is very thankful for it's location on this poll, if it weren't for those pilgrims, November would probably be hanging out in the cellar alongside Sloth from the Goonies. Goonies reference, check. Not quite freezing weather, but cold weather regardless. Nothing too crazy goes down in November, there are some sports going on, but nothing notable. Thanksgiving is a great holiday, sometimes people overlook it, but all in all, very respectable holiday. Other than Squanto's incredible cornbread, November doesn't offer a whole lot.

12. February
We are all experiencing the inferior factors that make February the crappy month it is. It is host to the most overrated holiday in the US, Valetine's Day (Don't worry Casimir Polaski, I got your back). There is a better chance of Chris Bosh actually being a Raptor, than there is of having a sunny day in February. It is the dullest month, the sky is continually gray, as well as my overall mood. Seriously though, is there anything positive that comes from February? Crappy weather, boring/lazy days and no major holidays.

Month Power Rankings
1. June
2. May
3. September
4. July
5. August
6. December
7. March
8. April
9. October
10. January
11. November
12. February


I would love to see what all you have to say. If you would be so kind to leave your Top 12 in the comment box, that'd be great. Thank you reading everyone! If you have any ideas for the next post, write them on a blank piece of paper and place them in the box.